Have you ever felt a sense of being abandoned by the only ONE you know you can rely on? I think, the very fact that you are reading this suggests that you are not in a position to comprehend what I am talking of. Not even the writer who speculates my sub-conscience as he writes this. It is something I have often felt -almost every day -but I am not in a position to be present to it. Most things to me are mere objects -of little importance. Like cars, which I do not bother about anymore than avoiding being hit or run over by them.
Yesterday, I was walking to a friend's on my way to work. I saw a bovine family walking, one following the other, in a row, off the road. "How well adapted to the urban discipline of walking off the streets", I thought. Just a little further down the way I saw another family walking in a similar fashion. The last member of this family was the tiniest on her feet. Trying to walk her fastest, but trailing by about ten meters. She was a little girl -must be barely two or three years old -weeping away the sedimented dirt on her face, down her baby cheeks.
It was as if she had been with me a long time back and over that time she had drifted away, not too far away, but continued to drift farther -slowly, but apart. I tried pushing the road behind me to the best of my ability; but she pushed better than I did.
Tears just poured out of her eyes that were stuck to her mother's back -her mother was trailing the rest of the family with another child -an infant -in her arms. I do not think the girl herself was aware that she was crying. Her eyes were just stuck on her mother. It seemed like she must have felt like a sole last survivor of a shipwreck with a buoy floating about just ten meters away, trying real hard to get to it, but the buoy keeps gradually drifting -slowly, but away -in the middle of an ocean. The mother did not once look back at her older offspring. She didn't once look at the infant in her arms either. She just walked with dry eyes -following the rest of the herd.
All I could feel was... nothing. I thought I would never get to her. Thought she was abandoning me. I just wanted to get to her. My cries sounded distant and I wanted to get to her. I tried pushing -but the road was too heavy to push any further -but I was trying. Suddenly, from behind me, two large hands grabbed me and lifted me into the air and left me next to her. She stopped. I was standing next to her. I could now hear my cries -they sounded loud~
So, I just lifted her off the road and took her to her mother. The mother stopped and so did the rest of the family. "Don't leave a child alone like that", I told them. Not a word was spoken beyond that. They just looked into my eyes. Each one's eyes were as dry and looked as perforated as the other's -they seemed hollow -maybe the last drop of tear had evaporated long time back. The girl continued to cry, just as profusely -her eyes were shut this time around.
Yesterday, I was walking to a friend's on my way to work. I saw a bovine family walking, one following the other, in a row, off the road. "How well adapted to the urban discipline of walking off the streets", I thought. Just a little further down the way I saw another family walking in a similar fashion. The last member of this family was the tiniest on her feet. Trying to walk her fastest, but trailing by about ten meters. She was a little girl -must be barely two or three years old -weeping away the sedimented dirt on her face, down her baby cheeks.
It was as if she had been with me a long time back and over that time she had drifted away, not too far away, but continued to drift farther -slowly, but apart. I tried pushing the road behind me to the best of my ability; but she pushed better than I did.
Tears just poured out of her eyes that were stuck to her mother's back -her mother was trailing the rest of the family with another child -an infant -in her arms. I do not think the girl herself was aware that she was crying. Her eyes were just stuck on her mother. It seemed like she must have felt like a sole last survivor of a shipwreck with a buoy floating about just ten meters away, trying real hard to get to it, but the buoy keeps gradually drifting -slowly, but away -in the middle of an ocean. The mother did not once look back at her older offspring. She didn't once look at the infant in her arms either. She just walked with dry eyes -following the rest of the herd.
All I could feel was... nothing. I thought I would never get to her. Thought she was abandoning me. I just wanted to get to her. My cries sounded distant and I wanted to get to her. I tried pushing -but the road was too heavy to push any further -but I was trying. Suddenly, from behind me, two large hands grabbed me and lifted me into the air and left me next to her. She stopped. I was standing next to her. I could now hear my cries -they sounded loud~
So, I just lifted her off the road and took her to her mother. The mother stopped and so did the rest of the family. "Don't leave a child alone like that", I told them. Not a word was spoken beyond that. They just looked into my eyes. Each one's eyes were as dry and looked as perforated as the other's -they seemed hollow -maybe the last drop of tear had evaporated long time back. The girl continued to cry, just as profusely -her eyes were shut this time around.
